486
muokkausta
Muutokset
lisätty muutosehdotus-osio
Tällä sivulla käsitellään Pirate Parties Internationalin työstämää Piraattimanifestia. Manifesti on täysin vaiheessa, eikä nykyisellä versiolle ole mitään painoarvoa, eikä siihen sen takia kannata viitata.
==Muutosehdotukset==
===Preamble, 1 §===
"When a government does not represent the people, but a certain subclass, that is not democracy, that is aristocracy. When a government does not listen to facts, but listens to beliefs, that is not democracy, that is theocracy. When a government does not listen to the people, or to the rule of law, that is not democracy, that is dictatorship. We believe that democracy is the ideal, and it is to this end that we do aspire and work. "
====Kommentti====
1) lacks further elaboration later on in the text. Can be fixed by extending the About Civil Rights -section.
====Korjausehdotus====
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===Preamble, 2 §===
"When corruption and ignorance run through the streets of our cities, having left common sense and forethought for dead, we must act, or be trampled."
====Kommentit====
1) incoherent, in relation to the prior text
2) written in a tone of panic.
====Korjausehdotus====
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